Monday, November 2, 2009


Slow down your life a little,it goes to fast.

On the other hand slowing down your life might make you miss something you enjoy.

On the other hand you can enjoy fewer things more.

On the other hand when you get more stuff to enjoy that stuff soon becomes old stuff.

Stuff we but sure collects dust.

So I bought dust covers and now I can't see my stuff.

I have some really old things.I can't throw it away.

The few things I have thrown away I think about.

When I get a new car I look at it through my window a lot.

A few days later I might look at it once in a while.

A few weeks later it's just a car that I might like but it's just a car.

When the amount of money you have defines your level off spirituality,you better redefine your life. (I am always learning this.I am a slow learner.)

Sunday, November 1, 2009


How often I look back now,as he did.
He looked back like there was some awful terror about to swallow him.
Many times he would sit,in his small room wondering what happened to his life.
She had left him years before of course and she was no longer heard from.Not even a card.Not a call or a letter.She was just gone.
His family had no wish to speak to him and he didn't much care.
Lost in his books now,he did not relate to this day.
Speaking just a few words,just the basic communication he needed to live,he only ordered food.
He would drink whiskey when he could sneak out of the home but they watched him close now.
Some bracelet they said was for his own security.He broke it a few times but they got pretty mad.
He had fought for his country.
He had been wounded.
It still hurt like hell but he paid it no mind anymore.He thought he got what he deserved.
Times were gone.His time was gone and he lived in a world now long forgotten.
Veterans home are no place for people to spend your final days he thought.
He wanted to go to some lake somewhere where he had vague memories of a life he thought he had once.
Dying slowly.He did not care.
Day after day,the same.
No smiles,no joy,fading memories.
I met him before he died.
His family wanted his body cremated.It's cheaper.
I hope somehow,someway he had found his Peace.
It makes me weary.

Friday, May 22, 2009

How I Broke Some Bones

Middle of June,1996.
Linda and I were fishing up in Canada near the town of Kenora,in Ontario.
We had gone to Perch Bay Resort for many years,so I knew the lakes and rivers fairly well.
The backwaters is where I always liked to fish,it is remote and you don't see much civilization.
The old rocks,the trees,the wildlife and being with your best friend is truly one of God's gifts.
This particular week we took Mark my son and his friend Paul Nelson with us.
We had good weather,good fishing and good eating too.
Wednesday,June 18 was a warm day,just a little overcast.
Linda and I took off in our boat to fish in the farthest part of the lakes we could get to.After a few hours it started to rain a little.It didn't bother us as we often fished in the rain.We were prepared with rain suits.
We decided to drift back towards are camp and let the current take us where it would.
I would move the boat close to the shore,then father away looking for the big fish.
A few more hours we just fished,talked and enjoyed the day.
In the early afternoon it started raining harder.We still were not to concerned.
Then it rained very hard.The wind picked up.I was hoping it would blow over as I wanted to stay out on the boat.
I pulled the boat closer to shore to take some shelter from the wind.The wind continued.
Closer to the shore it was a bit more peaceful so,we fished some more.
The wind got bad then,really bad.
I was 10 feet from the shore when there was a micro burst of wind.This is when the wind can be 100 miles per hour in a localized area.I thought I should land the boat on the shore.I was always a great thinker!
The trees were swaying.The pine trees were almost bent to the ground.
I felt branches on my arms.
My memory at this point is vague but I will do my best to reconstruct what happened next.
I saw a tree coming at us,it was falling right on us,I turned pushed Linda out of the way,I think I said watch out!
In that next moment my life was changed.The tree hit me.On my back.I remember the sound it made as it hit me.
It hit just below the middle of my back.The tree bent the aluminum boat badly.
I was down,laying on my back in the bottom of the boat.
The pain was horrible,I was gasping for breath.I was in agony.
The air would not come into my lungs.I yelled to Linda "I am dying now,I am dying".
Now the memory is not good but I remember Linda praying,asking God to calm me and asking for breath.
Prayer works,as you know.
I lay there,my head cradled by Lin.
I thought I would try to move my knees and my feet.If I could do that I was thinking I would not be paralyzed.
I moved my knees and then passed out.
We must have floated around for 30 minutes. In a boat that looked pretty beat up.
Somehow Mark and Paul found us.They were in the same area as we were and racing back to the camp to get out of the rain too.
I remember Paul was in the water,taking the tree the still was on my and lifting it off.
The next thing I remember was Mark starting the boat motor and trying to get us back to the camp. I know he could not see over the bow of the boat very well because of the way the boat was bent like the letter V.
It was raining hard again,We were 30 minutes from the camp.
We made it to shore.I was still laying in the bottom of the boat,passing in and out of consciousness.
Paul had gone ahead in Marks boat to get help.
There were about 20 fisherman on shore waiting to help.
Paramedics arrived.
One was a lady named Linda and I won't ever forget her.
The 2 paramedics somehow got a board under me and lifted me out with the help of several fisherman.
I awoke in the hospital briefly.I heard my wife talking to the nurses about what to do,send me to a larger hospital in Winnipeg or charter a plane to get me home.
She charted a plane with 2 paramedics and they flew me all the way to Lansing,Illinois.
I had broken about 27 bones,cracked ribs and damaged a kidney.
Recovery time was long.Years.

My back still gets sore now,but it could be that I am older.
I will always be grateful to God,Linda,Mark and Paul for the needed help and needed prayers.
Many stories come to mind now about how friends helped with prayers,visits,so many cards(which I still have and treasure) and even money which was sorely needed then.
I went back to visit that same spot where the tree hit me the next year.I was still in a body brace and could not bend very well but I had the determination to face it.
Half the tree was still there up on shore.
I got out of the boat.Hobbled to the tree and just looked at it for a long time.
I started painting with oils that year and I think I painted that tree a hundred times.
your life can change in one second.If I had died I was ready to go Home.
I still am ready.
And I still go fishing.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Remembering Sullivan Ballou

July 14, 1861Camp Clark, WashingtonMy very dear Sarah:
The indications are very strong that we shall move in a few days—perhaps tomorrow. Lest I should not be able to write again, I feel impelled to write a few lines that may fall under your eye when I shall be no more . . .I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in the cause in which I am engaged, and my courage does not halt or falter. I know how strongly American Civilization now leans on the triumph of the Government and how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through the blood and sufferings of the Revolution.
And I am willing—perfectly willing—to lay down all my joys in this life, to help maintain this Government, and to pay that debt . . .
Sarah my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me with mighty cables that nothing but Omnipotence could break; and yet my love of Country comes over me like a strong wind and bears me unresistibly on with all these chains to the battle field.The memories of the blissful moments I have spent with you come creeping over me, and I feel most gratified to God and to you that I have enjoyed them for so long. And hard it is for me to give them up and burn to ashes the hopes of future years, when, God willing, we might still have lived and loved together, and seen our sons grown up to honorable manhood, around us. I have, I know, but few and small claims upon Divine Providence, but something whispers to me—perhaps it is the wafted prayer of my little Edgar, that I shall return to my loved ones unharmed. If I do not my dear Sarah, never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battle field, it will whisper your name.

Forgive my many faults and the many pains I have caused you. How thoughtless and foolish I have often times been! How gladly would I wash out with my tears every little spot upon your happiness . . .But, O Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you; in the gladdest days and in the darkest nights . . . always, always, and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath, as the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by. Sarah do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for thee, for we shall meet again . .

Sullivan Ballou was killed a week later at the first Battle of Bull Run, July 21, 1861.Born March 28, 1829 in Smithfield, R.I., Ballou was educated at Phillips Academy in Andover, Mass.; Brown University in Providence, R.I. and the National Law School in Ballston, N.Y. He was admitted to the Rhode Island Bar in 1853.Ballou devoted his brief life to public service. He was elected in 1854 as clerk of the Rhode Island House of Representatives, later serving as its speaker.He married Sarah Hart Shumway on October 15, 1855, and the following year saw the birth of their first child, Edgar. A second son, William, was born in 1859.Ballou immediately entered the military in 1861 after the war broke out. He became judge advocate of the Rhode Island militia and was 32 at the time of his death at the first Battle of Bull Run on July 21, 1861.When he died, his wife was 24. She later moved to New Jersey to live out her life with her son, William, and never re-married. She died at age 80 in 1917.Sullivan and Sarah Ballou are buried next to each other at Swan Point Cemetery in Providence, RI. There are no known living descendants.Ironically, Sullivan Ballou’s letter was never mailed. Although Sarah would receive other, decidedly more upbeat letters, dated after the now-famous letter from the battlefield, the letter in question would be found among Sullivan Ballou’s effects when Gov. William Sprague of Rhode Island traveled to Virginia to retrieve the remains of his state’s sons who had fallen in battle.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Stuff That Makes My Brain Hurt Sometimes

Some serious questions,some not so serious.

Asking friends about grace,I get some pretty good answers.
Asking myself about grace I get some pretty crummy answers.

I am a little afraid of people that know every answer to every question.
I am old enough to know there are some answers and some questions do not really need to be asked.

Where there is money,happiness does not come easy.
Where there is not money,happiness does not come easy.

If you manage to make a living doing what you like,that is a good thing.

The faith of some younger people amazes me.

When things go well in my businesses I am pretty spiritual.

When things are not going well I am less spiritual. I am working on this.For most of my life it seems.

When my daughter says she is going to India for a month it was not an easy thing for me to deal with. I came up with about a hundred reasons why she should not go.
Perhaps it was a lack of faith on my part.No matter.
I have every confidence in Rob,my son-in law.
When I look at his life,I see his love not only for my daughter and his family,I see his love of people.And God.

Did you ever read your Bible and come up blank?
Did you ever read your Bible and be astounded?

People who fast should not post daily about their fast.

Conspiracy nuts annoy me to no end.

more to come

Friday, May 8, 2009

Happy Birthday Michelle

May 10, 1973. On that day my life was changed forever.
You were born with dark hair and lots of it! Many of us thought you looked liked a little Indian girl.
How things changed in my life.
I could not wait to get home from work to hold you,to comfort and feed you.
You were easy.You were my real gift from God and how I loved you.
You didn't fuss,you seldom cried.
Of course a dad's memory might have built in prejudice but that is fine with me.
Through the years I watched you.You made your first friends,You made people happy.
You made people smile.I remember so well the compliments I got on your looks,your behaviour,and your smile.
How well I remember singing to you and having you look into this daddy's eyes and then I felt my heart melting.
All through these years I have loved you very,very much.
And Michelle,you still make my heart melt.
Happy Birthday my darling daughter.
You still make my heart melt.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Bobby Scales Pro Baseball Player

Bobby Scales was called up to the major leagues this week.
He spent 11 years in the minors,riding buses,eating at fast food joints and staying in sub standard hotels and motels.For 11 years!
He is 31 now,and throughout the off season Bobby was a substitute teacher,trying to make ends meet.
His first time up with the Cubs he struck out,the next time up he got a base hit.
He also did very well fielding some tricky plays.
Bobby may get sent back to the minors,maybe even this week.
Hopefully there will be a spot for him in the lineup.
The thing that impresses me about this is the persistence he has shown.How many minor league players would have given up?
Has anything inspired you to keep trying for 11 years?
I think I would have given up.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Mothers Day 2009

Mothers Day is celebrated here usually at out home.
I tell her,you don't need to cook you know.There is normally a fairly large crowd here.
I mention that we can just get some chicken,or some other carry out.
She says she does not mind the cooking,the girls always bring something to share.
I tell her it is easier if you don't cook.
She puts me off and says it's not a problem.
I think to myself,it is easier not to cook.
I mention a restaurant would be nice.
She puts me off and says it's pretty hard with over 20 people to get a restaurant for Mothers Day.
She is at her best when serving others.She can talk to 25 people and each conversation she has makes you feel like you are very special.
The granddaughters seem to flock around her asking endless questions.
The grandsons stay busy,running around inside and outside.About a hundred miles an hour.

I watch her.She smiles.She never ever raises her voice.She laughs.
She is happy serving.
I will mention again before Mothers Day is here that she does not have to cook.
I know what the answer will be.
I am still in love,after 39 years. Love does not get old.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Cinco De Mayo

Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost.The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day.The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Westminster Chimes

My business is repairing or setting up grandfather clocks.
I tune the chimes,listen carefully for bad notes and making the corrections as needed.
All grandfather clocks play Westminster chimes,some play 3 chimes.

The are reasons for all the chimes,some are religious,some are from church bells and some are taken from children's nursery rimes.
Westminster chimes are the most popular,made famous by Big Ben in London.
However the chimes were first set into the tower at University Church, St. Mary's the Great, in Cambridge, England.
The actual words are:
"Lord, through this hour,
Be Thou our guide
So,by thy power
No foot shall slide"

The music was Handels symphony,"I Know That My Redeemer Liveth'.The words and music were arranged by William Crotch in 1793.
Even for the non religious people who have clocks in their homes,they are hearing a prayer every quarter hour.
I like that and find it fun to explain it to people.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Fathers-Honor Your Daughters

When my daughter Michelle was born,it was one of the happiest days of my life.
I had 2 boys when she was born,and one more was to follow.

Michelle was brightness in my life.
She was pure joy for me and I loved her fully.She filled my life with a great joy.
Just to be able to carry her,and care for her was an amazing thing to me.
What father could love a daughter more then me?
Fathers,take time to take walks with your daughters,spend time alone with them.The time goes fast.Way to fast.
How proud of was,she was mine and I was hers.
Dads,take pictures.They are a great reminders of a special love that you have.

Little girls grow up,they have lives to live and other loves to find.
They will go to school.They will meet new friends.They will fall in love.
You watch them,help them,guide them through life.Your wife serves as an example.
I saw my little girl go through changes,I saw Michelle find God,early in life.
You see her through high school,you see the compassion she has for others.
Real,burning compassion.She has you picking up people for church that you worry about.Shady people.But she knows they have a need so you do it.

You drive her to Moody every Sunday night for college.These were special times,to have her to myself for an hour or so.
You see a young man hanging around the house a lot. I approve of him.More importantly he knows God.He knows God well.
He asks for your daughter hand in marriage.You ask some dumb questions about their future,knowing inside your heart he is the right one.
You give her away on a snowy day in March.
Your heart breaks.But you're happy,very happy.
You always think of her as 'my Michelle.'
Now you still worry,now she has crazy plans to go to India.But she has compassion and you know she has to go.And it is ok.
There so many things I could write about this dad's love about his daughter but it would fill many books.
Now she has 3 girls of her own,I see Michelle in each.I see compassion in their lives and I am proud of that.
So you fathers,stay close to your daughters,they are one of God's best gifts.
I love you Michelle Dawn.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

I Confess to a Major Crime

The year was 1960,I was 10.
10 years old.
Pretty darn young if you ask me.
My older brother Bud went away to college.(To get an education.That's what he said.)
To me, he abandoned me.He had been my hero.
My role model.
A year or so before Bud left us,my dad and and Bud had bought a tv for Bud's bedroom.
This was a big deal then,a tv in the bedroom was for the rich people.
Not us!
I remember the tv was about 13 inches,and weighed about 400 pounds.
Rabbit ears were the standard then.Bud was quite technical and knew how to get all 5 channels.
Channel 2 excluded,mostly.

Since he went away I claimed all his assets.
Dad,being broken hearted about Buds departure put his tv in the basement.
I asked a few times if I could turn it on,but dad said 'no son,it belonged to Buddy,whom I loved.'
There were few times I snuck into the basement to turn it on but I could never get anything on it except fuzz.
Resentment over took me.
Bud was gone.
The tv was just sitting there.
Bad things entered my mind.I blame Bud.

With the help of a friend,I loaded the tv into my wagon and took it to a tv shop on 103rd street.
Never having done any business in my life I remember being nervous.
I told the tv shop guy,"how much will you give me for this tv?"
He looked at it,took the back off and said..."This tv is no good,it has a booster on it."
I had no idea what a booster was.
We stared at each other for a good 5 minutes.
He finally said"I will give you a finn."
I had no idea what a finn was.It sounded lik a lot to me.
It could mean 50 bucks I thought!
As it turns out a finn is $5.00.
I took the finn.I took my wagon home.
Dad says"where have you been?" I say 'out messin around.'
Dad never asked about the tv.
When Bud came home I don't think he missed it.
Years later I told my dad this story.He didn't remember it at all.
Then I found out Bud never missed it.He forgot about it too.
I spent the $5.00.
I probably gave most of it to charity because that's the way I am.

The moral of the story is if you sell your brothers tv,the brother you loved even though he abandoned you,it is ok.

How I Shot My Neighbor

How I Shot My Neighbor and Got Away With It.

I was about 14 or 15,and always loved messing around with bows and arrows.
It was a big kick for me and my friends to go to an open field and just shoot arrows as far as we could.
Our targets were trees or birds and even frogs.I don't remember any of us ever killing anything but we thought we were very cool.The Mighty Hunters.
The arrows we used were target arrows,they had sharp metal points.
One summer day I was shooting arrows in my back yard,shooting at an old wooden chair.
It was a large chair and was not to hard to hit,being just 30 feet away.
This chair was painted white,and had spaces in between the boards.
I shot my arrow,watched as it went through the spaces in the chair,watched as it went through the back yard fence,across the alley,through my neighbors fence and right into my neighbor's back.
It stuck in poor old Charlie for a second,then the arrow fell out.
I heard a yell "AHHHHHH".Then... Mi......!Then all was quiet,very quiet.
I could not believe my shot.My aim had been good.The chair with it's stupid wide slats would be the end of me I was sure.
Charlie had been in his garden,he was bending down pulling weeds.
Somethings you never forget.
I saw poor Charlie standing there,weeds in one hand,my arrow in the other.I didn't see any blood,but I knew it had to really hurt!
One thing I should mention here is that poor Charlie was born without a tongue.
He was very hard to understand.He always called me Mi...It sounded like MY...
This all happened in about 2 seconds and I remember it like it was yesterday.
When I realized what I had done,I ducked.I fled the scene of the crime.
A few hours later I crept back home,thinking my parents were going to kill me.
My dad wasn't home from work yet and mom didn't say anything so I figured I might be off the hook.
When dad did come home,I saw him coming to the back door.My bedroom was right above.
Here came Charlie,arrow in hand,he was watching for old Pete to come home.
Charlie was yelling,PEE PEEE!
Dad had no patience for Charlie,he was just to hard to understand.
Listening from above,I could here my dad giving Charlie the brush off.
Dad was actually thanking Charlie for returning the arrow.

I never did get into trouble for the arrow that went astray.I dd remember it my whole life.
Sadly I had to avoid Charlie whenever I saw him from then on.

The moral of this story if you ever shoot someone in the back,make sure the guy has no tongue.

Touching a Life

One of the last things my mom did in her life was to tell another lady about Jesus.
Mom was in the same hospital room with this lady called Jane.
Mom felt she was a prisoner in the hospital and I laughed and told her her cell-mate Jane probably felt the same way.
Jane listened but as far as I know made no real commitment.
I can only hope that in Janes last moments she did believe.
Mom had her ways about sharing the love of Christ and some ways were just quiet ways that she only knew.
Reflecting back on her life,I wonder how many Janes she had touched.

Mom was a social butterfly,she would have loved Facebook.
There were always people at the house,people always stopped by and she happiest then.
Relatives,friends and neighbor's were constantly at the door.
Some days it seemed the phone never stopped ringing,there was always something she had to share with somebody.
She worked until she was in here late 70's,she took care of old people in a nursing home.
Mom loved us and her Pete.
She would have loved her funeral! Hundreds of people came and I think I realized then how many lives she had touched.

How grateful I am to have had such a mom.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Have You Attacked The Church Today?

I sat and explained my views.
We discussed how I felt about your shallow views on Christianity.
You were most gracious and I appreciated that.
You didn't condemn me for speaking my mind.
And yet you don't understand how important my views are!
I think the way you teach and preach people are going to miss the point and go straight to hell.
Secretly I think you are evil and I will tell on you.
My friends will know that I speak the truth!
My friends will know that I am pretty smart.

I think God will judge you for preaching and teaching the way you do!
Your church is so disorganised I could barely find a seat when I visited.
As I sat there I knew God was telling me not to listen to such drivel.
You know I will not be back and I will tell my friends not to visit either.
I am of the view that I am right and you are absolutely wrong
I think you are deluding people with what spews out of your mouth!
My friends will nod in agreement when I tell them about how awful your church is!
I will feel pretty good about posting how I feel on my blog.
I think your ministry is not going to last much longer!
I heard there was a scandal in your church!
How few have come to know Jesus because of your ministry.

I know God will not bless you in anyway.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Fans of Jesus

Facebook now has a place where you can become a fan of Jesus.
It also has a place where you can become a fan of God.

I wonder what is the point?
Having a relationship with Jesus Christ is not a shallow thing.
It should be a all consuming relationship.
Jesus Christ is not definable in a fan club.

He is all knowing.
He is the one with such love and compassion that he died for all us in order that we might spend eternity with Him.
He is the one to who we turn in good times and in bad times.
He is God.
He is The Great I Am.

I am not really offended by the idea of fan clubs for Jesus.
I am a fan of more than a few people and ideas on Facebook.
I just think Jesus deserves more.

Poor Ann

I knew Ann from a few short service calls to her home.
Do I tell Ann's story for the readers?Probably just for myself.
A few quick conversations with Ann and I knew her life.
I would visit every few years when she needed a service call.
A few quick conversations about God.A few quick sentences about eternal life is all we ever had.

She was born a large child.
At birth the nurse recorded her weight at just over 10 pounds.
Her mother thought she was not very lovable,Ann was not an attractive baby.
She ate.
And ate.
Childhood was painful,always made fun of,always friendless Ann retreated into herself.
There was nothing for her in friendship.
She looked at the television,her sole companion in childhood.
She ate more.
When Ann was 14 she weighed over 200 pounds.She stood about 5 feet 4 inches.
Short and dumpy.That's what she thought of herself.
Ann dreamed of Kings and Queens and Princes and Princesses.Her fantasy world.
Her life was dreams and food.
At 20 her mother died and she was alone.
The government took care of her expenses. Her house now was empty except for her cats and her television.
Ann lived and breathed only in her dreams now.
Her weight increased and she could no longer walk without her walker.
Bathroom trips were something she had to plan far in advance.
Groceries she could order by phone.
She hated the forced interaction on the telephone but she needed to eat.
Her life became one long feast.
At 35 Ann was now well over 400 pounds.Breathing became difficult.Walking was nearly impossible.
She thought that all this eating was a slow form of suicide.And that was fine with Ann.
She had no reason to live.When she did face reality it was to painful.

She was a Princess in her castle with her cats as subjects.
Dreams were of a slender girl,dreams were full of graceful dancing and handsome suitors.

Being 40 was something she did not think would happen to her.
35 years she felt was enough.Everlasting loneliness was her life.
Fantasy worlds do not last.
Food lost it's flavor.All food now tastes the same.
Breathing was labor.Walking now almost impossible.
The scale no longer went to whatever number she went.It stopped at 300 anyway.
She saw the hungry kids on tv late at night and thought if she was gone they might have a little more to eat.
Poor Ann.
No knocks on the door.
No calls to see how she is doing.
No friends,just her cats in her little kingdom.
Despair overtook fantasy.Poor Ann.

The heart of Ann stopped on a Wednesday in June of 1987.
Nobody remembers Ann now.
Just me.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Peripheral Neuropathy Thoughts

Sometimes it hits you like a brick.
Sometimes it is just there and you can ignore it.
For me,staying busy works well but it is hard to stay busy 24 hours a day.
When I am working it seems that I can ignore it.
I continue to look online for cures and suggestions.I find there are quacks out there with miracle cures,miracle this and that and blah blah blah.
Now the nerve endings are firing one by one and I believe I have a limited number.
The pills I have to take to alleviate some of the discomfort is getting very expensive,and that is scary.
So,as I write this I feel crummy.Maybe it is because my blood sugar levels are high again,way to high.
As I try to think about what is happening to me I do wonder what the future holds.These thoughts are normal I think.
I am reminded constantly (by myself) of others who have health problems much worse than me. So, I am grateful for what I do have.
I am also reminded daily by myself that God gave me a sense of humor and I can laugh at life,a lot.
So life goes on.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Hurt Freind

She was fairly popular,she had looks,a nice personality and seemed to love people.
She didn't have many friends but the friends she had she was loyal to.Her friends thought a great deal of her,so she thought.

A year ago or maybe it was two years ago she can't remember now,she was almost killed in a car accident.
Her arms were broke,she had multiple stitches in the top of her head.Her head was shaved of course.
Her face was battered,her nose broke and she lost several teeth.
Needless to say she was a mess.
She had multiple surgeries,much convalescing and a lot of therapy.

Friends came by her home a lot,they did her a world of good.Her spirits are down but not out.

She suffers still.The wounds are healing but she won't be the same.She doesn't think her personality has changed,but somehow her friends have changed.They no longer call like they did before,they no longer just stop by.
Life isn't the same now she thinks and she has gone into a depression that holds on and holds on.
Family relationships help but they are far away and busy people.
She has asked God for help and He has,but shes so lonely for real friendships.
Friends that don't mention the accident every twenty minutes is what she longs for.
Friends that just stop by or call because they like her for what is she is,these people are gone now from her life.
She thinks if her faith can be measured by percentage points it is down by 50.

Ask her about her life now,don't stare at the scars.The scars hurt worse than the pain.Don't try to impress her with your Christianity,she can see through that.Be real about it.
She wants to come back to life.
Just stop by.Just call and say you would like to go out for dinner.
Tell her you need her in your life,it is what she wants most.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

For Christ's Sake

I have seen and heard this phrase a lot lately-For Christ's Sake or for God's sake.
I hear if from customers,from the public,on tv and lately on Facebook.
A popular radio host uses it on his updates for his Facebook status.
It is used easily in common speech,it is used when people have a point to make.
It is used lightly,and without thought a to what is being said.

I am mad.
I am enraged because of the use of our Lords name in vain.
I am offended.

Will it stop,no.
Will I suggest strongly that people not say For Christs Sake anymore?
I will no longer tolerate it because of ignorance,I will gently correct,once.
If I see it again or hear it again I will not be gentle.I will use very strong words.
For those of you who think the issues raised here is because I am a Christian or am sensitive to the phrase,well,yes I am.
It is for Christ's sake I am who I am.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Another Easter Sunday

So here I sit on a Sunday morning.
Finished cleaning up the house for the most part,well Linda did anyway.
Drinking my coffee,listening to Moody Radio,Pastor Lutzer is about to speak.
Now we are kicking back a bit waiting for the family to arrive,all 4 kids,their mates and all 11 and 1/3 grandkids.
These times in my life are the best,we get together,eat,smile,laugh and just enjoy each other.
There are no fights,no arguing,nothing bad is ever said.
It has been like this now for a very long time.
Linda,this is our 39th Easter together,how happy these times are.Who could ask for a better family?

It is the day we set aside to celebrate the Kings Resurrection,it is the day he got up.
How blessed I am!
How blessed we all are on this Easter!
Today is day for smiles for we know all that we have heard about Jesus is true.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Happy Birthday Whitney

Happy Birthday Whitney,
Look at you! Another year has gone by and now you are 9.
I hope this is one of the best birthdays you have ever had!
Grammy and me are so very proud of you,you ar very special to us and I can't tell you how much we love you.
I found what I wrote 1 year ago and I thought you might like to see it again.
God Bless You Whit

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Happy Birthday Whitney
Hello Whitney,Today is the day you turn 8!I remember well the day you were born,I could not wait to see you and say hello for the first time.You were so adorable,I know you smiled at your old papa,and that sure made me feel good!Now we have been to 7 of your birthday parties and I am waiting for an invitation to number 8.My sweet little one,God have given you so much,a great mom and dad who loves you so much,a great family of sisters,and Grandma and Grandpa's who love you very much.Much Love and Affection,Papa

Roseland and the Hoods I Have Lived In continued again

We moved from South Park in South Holland to a house in Dolton with four bedrooms and a large basement.
The payment for this house was $160.00,the price was about $21,000.
Linda was pregnant again of course and was due to deliver right after we moved in.
She was gardening in our new garden when the baby decided to come.
I was working in Roseland at Midland Chemical when she called me.I rushed home and we drove to the hospital.
Michelle Dawn Lanting was born on May 10,1973.
My brothers each had 3 boys,I had 2 already and then Michelle came into our life.
One memory I have was calling my mom from the hospital and telling her she finally had a grand daughter.She thought I was making it up!
Since the day Michelle was born she has brought me great Joy,she has made me proud,and made me a better dad.
How much can a man love his kids? God only knows.
My boys Kevin and Mark had a new sister,what fun we has introducing them to a sister.
In 1975 we had our last boy,Joel.
We always thought the last child was the easiest.
Our lives were busy,but full of great happiness.
Linda and I laughed a lot with the kids.These were good times.
Not much money but God always supplied enough for us.

We had four kids now and a mess of dogs as usual.
Moving to another home in Dolton on Meadow Lane we paid $40,000 and the payments were about $300.00.This is the home we still live in and it seems right for us today.
The house is full as we still have dogs and thousand of books and hobby stuff.

This in not the end of the story of course,there are so many details in any families lives it is impossible to write the all in a post like this.
I owe my life to Linda my wife,in many many ways.
I can say that I have know Jesus Christ,Linda Lanting,Kevin,Lynn,Mark Abby,Michelle,Rob,Joel and Lisa. My happiness comes from them all.

Paul Simon said it best:
Now the years are rolling by me,They are rocking evenly-And I am older than I once was-And younger than I'll be, but that's not unusual.No, it isn't strangeAfter changes upon changes We are more or less the same After changes we are more or less the same

Neurophathy Cures

Neurophathy Cures.
Having an invisible heath problem will not bring celebrities to your door.

The lesson I have learned about having neurophathy is that I can relate to those of you that have it.
I am on your side.
Doctors deal out drugs which are getting to be more expensive every month.
When we are old how will be able to afford it?
Where is the research?
If our neurophathy problems were visible there would be a great foundation with millions of dollars available to researchers.
But there isn't.
I want to hear from you and hear your story.
To email me directly

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Roseland and the Hoods I Have Lived In continued

Times were hard and we did not know it.
I was making about $5.00 an hour and I worked a lot of overtime to pay the bills.
I worked in at Midland Chemical Company on 107th street. I worked there from 1967 to 1974.
Our rent was $85.00 a month,we lived in a very old farmhouse located in Roseland on Chicago's south side.
We lived on the second floor with one bedroom at 114th street an Harvard Ave.
The house we lived it was probably from the early 1900's it was quite a museum.
The bathroom had all the pipes exposed and if you wanted you could open the shade and look out over the neighborhood.
We decided that we needed a dog so we bought a Siberian Husky and named her Natasha.She was a good dog but ran away when ever she got the chance.
These were good times,we laughed a lot at life then.
We brought our first baby home to this apartment and were clueless.Thank God for moms.
Although I still had many friends hanging out with us,it wasn't the same anymore.We had jobs,a kid and responsibilities.
Linda quit her job at Riverdale Bank to stay home with Kevin,our first born.
We had cool cars then,a 1968 Impala,a 1967 Thunderbird and the a 1970 Nova.
You could buy a car for nothing then,car payments were about $65.00.We didn't care about paying off a car loan then.
Electric and gas bills were about $12.00,groceries cost little.
We were not rich by any means but we got by ok.
We bought a tv which was used black and white,I think there were 5 channels.
My tv now has over 200 channels and there is still not much worth watching.
When we were 20 we bought our first house in South Holland for $17,500.Payments were $127.00 a month.
The house we bought was very old,located on South Park Ave,it had been part of a chicken coop at one time and the house had been moved once.There had been many additions to the old house but we were quite happy there.
We had another baby and we named him Mark.
This was a 2 bedroom house so again we found ourselves a bit pressed for space.
more to come....

So I Got Older

Somedays I feel like I am old.
I am just 59 now so I guess that's not old,at least that's what people tell me.
We bought a fancy treadmill but it makes my hip hurt.
Sitting here tonight I am thinking about taking an extra pain pill.So maybe that is why I am feeling old tonight.
Working brings out the best in me,it is my work that seems to make me forget about neuropathy for a bit.
I meet a lot of older people in my business,I seem to relate better now then when I did when I was young. I started my business when I was 24 and now suddenly I am 59.
35 years doing what I do.That's a long time.

Now,back a week in time:
Last week I was with some of my family for a weeks vacation in the Smoky Mountains.
Linda and I enjoyed every minute of our trip and enjoyed the walks and even some light hiking.
Spending time with younger folks makes me feel pretty darn good.
They stretched me.
My legs hurt after hiking,my hip was going crazy but I was happy.

Moral of the story: Stay busy.It makes me happier.

Friday, March 13, 2009

My Old Home In Roseland-Chicago

This past week I had some business in my old neighborhood.
Linda and I were just a few short blocks away from the home I grew up in.
I didn't really want to spend much time in that neighborhood because it is really not safe at all.
We decided it was ok because it was morning,about 10 AM.
We drove down 103rd street where my grandfather worked at the Great Southern Laundry.This is now some kind of chuch and I was glad to see that.
I saw the park where I spent so much time playing baseball.
There is a 300 foot tower there now,in the middle of left field.

She drove us down 104th street where my old school once stood.It is gone now,it looks like a newer public school is being built.
It was strange seeing the place where I spent so much time there,now there is no more Roseland Christian School.

We took the bend around the old pumping station and came up to 104th place.
I was stunned to see so many house boarded up,it was just surreal.
We drove to my house at 304,and it too is boarded up.Abandoned.
Grass is overgrown,boards on all the windows and doors,gates falling down.
I felt kind of sad seeing this,looking up at my old bedroom window,my parents bedroom window,kitchen windows,every window now shows no more sunshine.
I always wanted to see the inside one more time.I don't think it will ever happen.

About half of the houses on my street have no windows now.Most have ugly plywood blocking entry and preventing more broken glass.
Glass was everywhere,on the sidewalks,on the streets and in the yards.
Some homes were just gone,leaving a plot of land filled with weeds.
The little green store on the corner looks like it has been abandoned for years.No more candy from there.No newspapers,no pop.
Do I miss those old days? Yes.Would I go back if I could? No.
Those days are gone and I remember them very well.
I was just thinking there would be no more memories from some other boy who could have lived there.
My bedroom now is an empty shell.The kitchen has no more moms to come home to.
The living room has no family now,just darkness.
The dining room where uncles and aunts once came is dark too.
The basement that was a place of wonder for me is dark.
The grass I hated cutting won't be cut anymore.
How small that yard looks now.
Looking down the sidewalk where Mr. Reilly taught me how to ride a bike when I was 5.The sidewalk is there.How well I remember that day.
Who said you can't go home again?
He was right.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

To My Grandsons

Today I found out my next grandkid will be a boy.
That will make 7 of you.I am very happy about this.
My prayers are with you all,all the time.
Joel,Andrew,Aaron,Joshua,Alistair,Caleb and one to come.Maybe more?
How I wonder what your future holds.
How I pray even now for Christian wives,like your moms and like gramma Lanting.
Walk the narrow path my sons,walk with Jesus.
Don't believe in any watered down gospel.It has always been the same gospel and it does not change,ever.
Pray always.
Study his word,study hard in school.
Be compassionate.
Be patient in life.
Whatever you do for a living,do it well and do it with everything you have.
Work is not just work.It should be your passion too.
Honor your mom and dad always as my kids have done for me.
Do small favors for your mom.Then do big favors.
Laugh a lot,enjoy your friends.
Have heroes in life,if they let you down,and some will,so be it.
Climb trees,climb high.
Fish,hunt,play ball,be outdoors as much as you can.
Read books,get lost in books.Keep a library of your own,you can always return to friends in books.
Date a lot when you are old enough.
Girls are an everloving mystery.They will break your heart,but then you will know you have lived.
State your opinions strongly and with conviction.Sometimes you will be wrong but it's ok to be wrong.This is how we learn.
Don't smoke.Don't drink.Drinking brings stupidity.
Be friends with your brothers and sisters throughout your whole life.Never neglect them.
Your gramps was 59 years old when he wrote this.I know that sounds so old you now.
But life goes very fast.Enjoy being alive and if you reach old age,thank God.
One more thing,remember how much I have loved each of you.
Your papa loves you all very,very much.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Thank You Lin

This past weekend I was down with a really bad cold.
I was pretty miserable and didn't even have to stretch the truth to get sympathy!
We had plans we had to cancel,and I am sure it was a pretty boring weekend for her.

Thinking back of all the times Linda was there for me when I was down,I am grateful for such an understanding wife.
She has been as loyal to me when I was at my worst when I broke my back.
She keeps our businesses going.
She makes all the calls.
She works hard on educating customers and getting customers to keep coming back.
She does all the driving because of all the medications I am on.
She knows how much money I have to spend on meds and does not complain.
She makes it easy for me.
Now it is almost 40 years we have been together and we are closer then ever.
A million acts of kindnesses later.
A million laughs.
Not to many tears.
We have seen a lot,raised 4 kids and now have 11 grandkids and 1 on the way.
I am amazed at our lives Linda,and you are my life.
I love you.More.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Trials With No Answers-Yet

Trails are not much fun,at least for me.
I tend to say,nuts.
Have you heard people tell you to thank God for your trials?
Daily I am dealing with a problem which to me is is of great magnitude.
Are you slowed down because of you current situation? I am.
I have always loved my work,I love making service calls.I love fixing clocks for people.
God gave me the talent and I use it to the best of my ability,mostly.
Spirituality -Are you closer to God when things are going very well? I am.
I have yet to learn that God's presence is their when things are going well and when they are not.
I am struggling now with neuropathy.
It wears on me.I can not do the things I used to.
Planning things in advance helps but I don't like that much.
I know God knows how I feel,he knows everything. Right?
I am not depressed,just wanted to write down my thoughts,just for myself.

God,you know my frailties,you know my innermost thoughts.
Do I tell you thanks for all this?
You know how grateful I am for my wife an my wonderful family.I can never thank you enough for them.
I did not know the plans you had for them.
Years ago it was a big mystery for me,wondering,praying and guiding.
Now my body aches and Lord I don't like it one bit.
I know many people have health issues much more serious than mine Lord,you showed them to me all my life.
Doctors tell me there is no cure.Just deal with it the best you can.
I know you can heal and I believe that with all my heart.
My weariness is troubling to me spiritually Lord.
Sometimes I just want to go home.

This was what you might call a rant.
I wrote this for me,I think it is good to put thoughts in words I can read over.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

25 Things

1.I became a Christian in 1971.

2.I had 4 kids when I was 24.Actually Linda had them.

3.I have been working full time since I was 17.

4.I brood about too many friends who have gone on before me.

5.I almost died 3 times.

6.Linda saved my life.

7. Karla Verhagen saved my life.

8.The last time was just over a year ago when I was diagnosed with a a few illnesses.

9.I have 11 grandkids and one on the way.

10.I can get lost in thought while reading the Bible.

11.I believe our country is very sick.

12.I think about kids I went to school with and where they are.

13.I used Rogaine for a week.

14.I love my first job 95% of the time.(clockmaker)

15.I love my second job 95% of the time.(bookseller)

16.I procrastinate a lot and I don't like it.

17.My dogs are my friends too.

18.I always wanted a better prayer life and am always working on it.

19. I have been to most of the United States,a lot of Canada.

20.I spent 2o minutes in Mexico.

21.I would die for my family.

22.I love radio,AM-FM-Shortwave and scanners.I am also a ham radio operator.

23.Fishing is one of the loves of my life.

24.I wish my family all lived on my street.

25.My desk often has mountains of stuff on it but I can tell if someone moves something.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Things I Think About.

Email forwards.
I have one friend who emails me continually about political stuff.
Its really not a big deal because I agree with him on most things,but I don't read any of it.

I like genuine Christian people.
They surprise and amaze me.

I like WWII vets.I have met some many through my businesses.
Many say there is no need to thanks them but I do anyway.
Most are in their 80's and 90's.

It brings a lot of inward joy when my kids and grandkids are so happy to see me.
We sure have good times together.

Since I closed my clock shop I think I want to open up again.
Then I think again.
I miss it,but not the hours and the stress.

You can accuse anyone of anything at anytime.

My wife is still my best friend.

I have 13 nephews and 4 nieces,it is nice to have such a prolific family.
I love you all,very much.

My brother Bud makes me laugh out loud and he always has been able to do that.

I am very proud of my 3 sons for the Spirit of God which is so evident in their lives.
I have one daughter and Michelle you amaze me.
You are such an good wife to Rob,a wonderful mom to 3 girls and an example of a Godly woman to so many. Your dad loves you very,very much.

We are a family that hugs.
That is a good thing.
more to come

February Goals

My goals for the next few months.
1.Find a church that we can relate to.

2.Pray more.

3.Read the Psalms.I find I can get lost in there.

4. Go fishing early this year.

5.Be more charitable.

6.Upgrade my ham radio class.

7. Travel more.

8.Get motivated about Ebay again.

9.Be neater.

10.Get a new puppy.

11.Find time and motivation to paint again.

12.Restore old friendships.

13.Find something,some product that will cure neuropathy.

14.Be more grateful.

15.Write on my blog a lot more.